DON’T DATE IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE
Written by Counselor Adofoli
Are you in a relationship or dating someone now when you know you are not ready for marriage? One of the reasons why many people end up in bad marriages is because they started dating at a time they were not ready for marriage; but because they had dated this person for so long, they felt obliged to marry them. Knowing it wasn’t what they desired, they prayed and hoped things would get better.
Some people are so clueless as to what love and marriage is; thinking once you start experiencing nice feelings for someone it means they are in love, and anyone they fall in love with will automatically become their spouse. This is why many singles fight to hold on to bad relationships, trying all their best to change others, but refusing to change the person they have power to change which is they themselves.
The bible says in Matthew 22:14 (MSG) ‘Many get invited; only a few make it”. In other words many people will tell you I love you but only a few truly love you. Lots will promise you marriage but only a few will attempt carrying it out. Many see you as a want but a few see you as a need. Many might like your company but a few will enjoy your madness.
To have a successful marriage, feelings are not enough; readiness matters. It’s like having the needed knowledge to get a job done but lacking the required tools. You only become frustrated at the end of the day.
If you like someone, their smiles, look, tribe, profession, it doesn’t automatically mean they are your prefect partner therefore you must hook them down else you risk losing them. You can choose to spend all the time with them, just to get married to them in the future, but later realize this wasn’t what you wanted or needed.
The Marriage journey is not about who you have been with but about who you end up with. As at now, because you are not ready for marriage, your heart doesn’t know what it really wants until you are ready. The confusion, pains, frustration set in when you are ready and find what you need but realize you are hooked up with what you don’t need.
There is a reason why God hid Eve from Adam until he was ready for marriage. So please stop accepting proposals whose outcome you don’t know; don’t go for fights that you are not prepared for. Don’t date anyone when deep within, you know you are not ready for marriage.
Don’t let someone who is ready for marriage push you into it, knowing you are not ready. You are the steward of your life and you will surely give an account to your Creator one day. So I plead with you to take full responsibility for every condition in your life including marriage. Learn to say “NO” without explaining yourself. “Yes, each of us will give an account of himself to God” – Romans 14:12 (TLB).
In conclusion “Imagine! His left hand cradling my head, his right arm around my waist! Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready” – Song of Solomon 8:4 (MSG)..
