On a recent episode of Love Affairs on A1 Radio, Counsellor Pascal Kasser Tee delivered a candid message to listeners navigating modern relationships: before committing to a single parent with the intention of marriage, understand what led to their single parenthood.
Speaking in a calm but firm tone, he urged both young people and adults to approach relationships with clarity and long-term purpose.
“The first thing to look at is: where is the dating leading you?” he asked during the live broadcast. “Are you dating without thinking about building a better future together?”
For Mr. Kasser Tee, intentionality is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. Dating, he suggested, should not be directionless. If two people are not considering a shared future, he likened the relationship to “hanging on a dead rock” — stagnant and unlikely to grow.
When marriage is the goal, however, he said deeper scrutiny becomes necessary, particularly when one partner is a single parent.
“The first thing I would look at is what caused the single parenthood,” he said. “That is the most important question. Everything revolves around it.”
According to him, understanding the circumstances that led to single parenthood can reveal character, resilience and compatibility — or signal potential red flags.
“If you dig deep to know what caused it, you will see the good side or the bad side from there,” he explained.
He outlined various scenarios that may lead to single parenthood, emphasizing that not all reflect negatively on the individual.
“There are situations,” he noted. “Death is inevitable. Someone may have been in a relationship, had a child, and the partner passed away. In that case, the person may still be good marriage material.”
In such instances, he argued, the surviving parent may simply be a victim of circumstance and possess strong character.
However, he cautioned that not all situations stem from unavoidable tragedy. Some relationships end due to incompatibility, unresolved conflict or character concerns.
“There is a possibility that the partners could not stay together because of character issues,” he said, adding that disagreements over parenting or other tensions may cause a relationship to fail.
For prospective partners, he advised careful discernment.
“If the person has good character, you will know from what caused the single parenthood. If there are character concerns, you will also know from the cause,” he said.
Mr. Kasser Tee repeatedly encouraged listeners to conduct what he described as “investigation” — framing it as due diligence rather than suspicion.
“You need to investigate what caused it,” he said. “When you understand the cause, you can make your decision based on that.”
He recalled that in the past, families would discreetly inquire about a potential spouse’s background within their community. Today, he noted, technology has made that process easier.
“Now it is simpler because of technology,” he said. “You may know someone who knows someone in that community. With a phone call, you can find out.”
He also pointed to social media as a tool that can reveal aspects of a person’s life.
“Even social media can expose certain things,” he remarked.
While acknowledging that his comments may spark debate among those who believe love should be unconditional, Kasser Tee stressed that compassion and wisdom must go hand in hand.
“It is not always the case that a single parent did something wrong,” he said.
A1 Radio | 101.1 Mhz | Samuel Adagom | Bolgatanga
